Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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