walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
