Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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