i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
