this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
