I like to think it a success when the cops are called
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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