There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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