can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
