still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
