you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize