i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
