I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She bit a glass in half.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
