Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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