You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
