haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize