I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
