in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize