3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize