Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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