just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
