I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
