i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
