Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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