My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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