this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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