why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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