The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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