I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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