The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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