I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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