ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we're so committed to being not committed
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
