I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
