I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
