Fuck appropriateness.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
