marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
