So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize