If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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