FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
