Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
