How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
