Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Two words: blizzard sex
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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