New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
