I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
