So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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