Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
