The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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