Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
