im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
