you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
