i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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