please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
