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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Whats up?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Stay up. I'm coming home in a little

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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• (904): View more from Florida

  he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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• (858): View more from California

  The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?

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• (909): View more from California

  oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????

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• (809): View more from Caribbean Islands

  *swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.

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