I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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