Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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