real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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