uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think your dad took our porno
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
