I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
