Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
