you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
