she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
