Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
