Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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